In our first interview with a couple who’s still knee-deep in the planning process, we talk to Drew and Mark about their upcoming wedding. They’ll be getting married this coming October in Atlanta at Monday Night Brewing, which we’ve determined is Super Gay.
“If it tastes good, spit it out.”
More medical advice from Amanda. On the plus side, wine is good for you.
Cindy proves yet again that she is unaware that this podcast does not include video.
Introducing our new sponsor, Catalyst Wedding Co.
The most inclusive wedding blog, bar none, on the internet. That’s 100% true.
Over at Catalyst, you’ll find all sorts of things you don’t usually see in wedding media: people who look like the world. Not white, not straight, not skinny, not wealthy. It’s a refreshing dose of reality.
There is nothing more gorgeous than two people in love on their wedding day. So why is so much wedding media focused on a such a tiny sliver of humanity? Amanda’s gonna tell you all the reasons why that’s bullshit. Representation matters.
Terrible Lesbian Movies. There are so many of them.
And they are all on Amazon Prime.
Cindy continues to be a musical theatre nerd. In Chicago? Check out the Chicago Artists Chorale. How’d we get here? Oh yeah, Girl Trash. About which Amanda says one cannot talk trash. But seriously, it’s great except for the part where it’s a musical.
Meet Mark and Drew
They’re National Park nerds, which is why Amanda gets along great with them. They’ve been engaged for over a year and have about six months to go before their fall 2018 wedding.
What Part of Wedding Planning is Making You Swear and Throw Things the Most?
We’ve been engaged a long time, over a year, so basically everything’s been in place for a really long time. But now that it’s getting closer, we’re feeling a bit anxious about all the pieces coming together at the right time.
Cindy tells you about the 100% normal pre-wedding freakout.
And then our conversation derails into what could easily be a tourism bureau ad for offbeat travelers.
How They Met and Why They Decided To Get Married
Drew and Mark met through online dating site OkCupid. They chatted back and forth a little bit, and met up pretty quickly for a beer. That was five and a half years ago and the rest, as they say, is history.
Even before they got engaged, they were committed to being together. After pondering proposal plans for a while, they were sitting on the couch one night and decided, “Yeah, let’s just do this!”
They agree that the big gesture is really the wedding.
Let’s Talk About Mark and Drew’s Wedding Plans
They picked a really cool venue: Monday Night Brewing in Atlanta. It’ll be an intimate wedding with 60-70 guests.
They’ve picked the Good Food Truck to cater and will be DIY’ing carrot cake cupcakes for dessert with help, if needed, from a few friends.
Figuring out when to hold the wedding was fairly easy – Mark and Drew knew they wanted a fall wedding and they didn’t want to plan it in only a few months, so that led them to Fall 2018.
Has Being LGBTQ+ Affected Your Wedding Planning Experience?
In a fundamental way, no. But Mark recalls that his first email to the venue coordinator started out by stating, “Hey, just wanna let you know that we’re two grooms and I hope that’s ok.”
You obviously don’t want to have a venue or work with vendors who don’t want to work with you. Thankfully, their venue was very welcoming and had already hosted a number of LGBTQ+ weddings.
When you’re planning a wedding while gay, you’ve gotta vet your vendors. And also, bride-centrism must die.
It’s not just because of LGBTQ+ folks, either – when everything is all about the bride, the groom gets treated as an accessory. And on the flip side, brides are getting saddled with all the work of planning a wedding, which is a lot. According to the most recent survey results, the average is 10-15 hours per week over the course of 12-18 months.
So: Wedding Industry – let’s fix this, ok?
“It’s the one time in our lives we can wear matching outfits and it won’t be weird.”
Mark and Drew have decided to keep it semi-formal with matching suits.
One of the perks of being male? The attire shopping process is much, much faster. While wedding gowns need to be ordered so far in advance that many women change their minds about what they want to wear or the whole aesthetic of their weddings, men can get a custom suit made in 6-8 weeks.
Let’s make this a thing. All the fashion pomp and circumstance should not just be for dress-wearers.
We talk about Drew and Mark’s Super Gay Color Story.
What to Call Your Wedding Party
We’ve got lots of ideas for you today.
Wedding Planning Resources They Found Helpful
Amanda is cool and likeable and her website is awesome.
Monday Night Brewing is super gay.
Mark and Drew get Wedding Planning Q&A time with Cindy.
Referencing our episode with Bernadette Smith, we talked about the idea of replacing any tradition you skip by putting something else in its place.
So… we talked about the shoe game, but with Mark and Drew having their faces on a stick. And Cindy thinks they should get double-sided faces on a stick so that their guests can have them too and play along.
Is making your own playlist instead of hiring a DJ a terrible idea?
Top Five Songs to get your guests on the dance floor:
- Don’t Stop Believing – Journey
- Sweet Caroline – Neil Diamond
- Shout – The Isley Brothers
- Livin’ on a Prayer – Bon Jovi
- Thriller – Michael Jackson
Bonus: any of the line dances like Cha Cha Slide or other songs with widely-known choreographed dances, anything by Beyonce.
Mark’s all-time favorite dance song: Groove is in the Heart by Deee-Lite.
Nervous about being the center of attention for a first dance?
Try telling your guests that what you really want for your first dance is for everyone else to get their asses on the dance floor and join you!
There aren’t very many times in your life when people are going to help you with no strings attached.
Your wedding is one of them. Take advantage.
Drew and Mark’s Advice for LGBTQ+ Couples:
- Having a long engagement has been great and allowed them to get the venue they wanted – this particular venue books over a year in advance (which is not uncommon)
- Enjoy the process! You’re essentially throwing a party for your friends. That’s fun!
- Weddings are FUN! Having a party with your closest friends and dressing up and having some drinks is a FUN THING! Have FUN!!
Amanda and Cindy wax poetic about our jobs.
We get to contribute to making the memory of your wedding day a really good one.
Shit always goes sideways, that’s a reality; but we get to fix that so you don’t have to worry about it. You get to remember your wedding day as a really happy one.
“The universe doesn’t care about us, but it doesn’t matter – because we care about each other.”