4: Our Super Gay Weddings

Now that you’ve heard about some other weddings, we thought it was time we told you about our own. Today, we interview each other about the ups and downs of planning our own weddings. We also dispense our best advice, from personal and professional experience, for planning your LGBTQ+ wedding.

Cindy’s 2010 Wedding in Chicago

Cindy tells us how her 2010 wedding just sort of fell together and shares a major piece of advice if you’re baking your own cake. She rants about how party rental stores shouldn’t charge more for weekend rentals and reminds you to break in your shoes. Or better yet, wear comfortable ones to begin with.

We also give some airtime to lesbian shoe references in modern musical theatre.

Amanda’s 2014 Wedding in South Carolina

Amanda tells us about her plan to get married in Massachusetts just after it was legalized there – which was foiled by the addition of a residency requirement. Over the course of a decade, they planned four separate weddings, and the last one, in 2014, finally worked out. Hear the story of a South Carolina church that hosted popup LGBTQ+ weddings, including providing a photographer, cake, and a bubbly toast for each couple. As nice as it was, she’d still change just about everything if she had the chance to do it over.

We talk about the overwhelming emotions we both experienced at our weddings, especially with regard to finally having legal recognition.

LGBTQ+ Wedding Advice from Today’s Episode:

  • Embrace the lack of roles and traditions for LGBTQ+ couples – you have the freedom to decide exactly what makes the kind of wedding you want, and to chuck everything else into the fuck it bucket.
  • “The gift of queerness is options.” Go watch Tiq + Kim’s TED Talk, A Queer Vision of Love and Marriage. We love being queer because we are free from gender roles and expectations.
  • Also, a small correction: the term “fuck it bucket” actually seems to have originated on a Reddit thread, and was subsequently picked up on the Bridechilla podcast, where it’s become a rather popular episode.
  • Pick vendors whose work you love, and then LET. THEM. DO IT. Don’t micromanage.
  • Holiday weekend weddings don’t save you money, and might even cost you extra.
  • Pick 2-3 things that are truly important to you and focus on those. Let everything else go.
  • You’re not going to have perfection, so embrace it. Plus — if your wedding goes perfectly, it’s not going to be a very interesting story.

Wedding Pros We Loved That You Will Too

Florist – Lynn Fosbender at Pollen Floral Design

Photographer – Timmy Samuels at Starbelly Studios (no longer shooting weddings, but book him for all your headshot, theatre, and live music photography needs)

The Unitarian Universalist Church, generally – for being so welcoming to LGBTQ+ folks.

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