In Part 2 of our conversation with Lex and Kitty, we talk about gender bending wedding attire, staying true to yourselves, even if that means not inviting some folks, and we get their wedding planning advice for LGBTQ+ couples.
August 13th is International Left Hander’s Day.
Today in pre-show banter: all the ways the world is built for right-handers. Can openers, playing cards, ice cream scoops, compound miter saws, and every leftie’s nemesis – scissors. Every last one a right-handed tool, unless you buy a special left-handed version.
The internet suggests that left-handers smarter than right-handers. And that there is a higher incidence of left-handedness in species that are more competitive than humans. And that within humanity, there are more lefties in subgroups that are competitive, like sports teams. We discuss.
The Beyoncé Vogue Cover
Amanda prepares for an argument on the internet and everything is wrong with everyone.
And now for part two…
Gender Bending and Wedding Party Attire
We’re gonna start with Lex’s long-standing plan to have a tux and tails at her wedding. It’s 9:00 pm on a weeknight and Lex is still wearing a tie. Lex dresses to impress and her wedding is no exception.
Kitty gave Lex a set of cufflinks as a wedding gift which feature quotes from Pride and Prejudice, one of Lex’s favorite films.
The one thing Kitty wasn’t excited about was going wedding dress shopping because she’s not a traditional size. So she did tons of research to figure out where to go that would have options to fit her.
A coworker invited her on a spur-of-the-moment lunch break dress shopping trip and unexpectedly fell in love with a dress.
We consider adding a new set of letters to the LGBTQIA+ acronym.
…until we realize it was just a plain old standard English acronym, already in wide use.
The Most Helpful Wedding Resources according to Lex & Kitty
A Practical Wedding (book and website)
Michaels (for bouquet/craft supplies)
Jared (engagement + wedding bands)
Wedding Planning Advice from Kitty & Lex:
- Talk to other queer people who have gotten married
- Be intentional about your vendors. If you can go with queer vendors, do it! There are so many little things that you don’t realize are going to be important until they don’t get it. Especially when you’re paying them a whole bunch of money for your wedding. Queer vendors already have the understanding going into it.
- Don’t invite anybody to your wedding that isn’t going to support your marriage. The day is supposed to be about you and not about managing family nonsense.
- If you don’t care about live flowers, go with fake ones.
- If you’re planning to wear a gown for the ceremony, buy a simple dress you can move in for the reception.
Shout out to PFLAG!
Do you need some supportive folks at your wedding because your own family isn’t? Give your local PFLAG chapter a call! We can’t promise they’ll definitely send a surrogate parent, but it definitely seems like something they’d do.
We asked Lex and Kitty if they had to plan their wedding all over again, what would they do differently? Here’s what they said:
We would have hired a wedding coordinator!
That was the one thing after we got married, we were like, “You know what would have been great? Having a coordinator. So that people would stop asking us questions.”
Logistical questions, the minutiae questions that need to be answered.
“You really don’t know how many idiots exist in your life until the day you get married.”
And, they say, they might have changed their guest list a bit.
Surprise! Wedding photography is inherently kinda racist.
Because all the settings and presets and other technical photo junk are calibrated for Caucasian skin tones. It takes a small amount of extra work and the willingness to learn to photograph and edit darker skin tones properly. So if you’re a person of color, make sure your wedding photographer knows how to do this shit!
Lex and Kitty loved these vendors, and you will too:
Photographer: Amanda Summerlin Photography
Videography: Mountain Fresh Films
Lex’s cufflinks: Etsy
Wedding Jewelry: Jared